Dear Counsellor,

I'm a bit confused. Please tell me what a virgin really is. I told my friends that I'm still a virgin and they don't think so because I told them I had oral sex done to me only once. I tried to convince them by telling them that my hymen is still intact and that I have never had a penis penetrate my vagina. Do you think I'm still a virgin even though I had oral sex?

Virgin

Dear Virgin:

Virgin, like sex is a complicated word and everyone has his or her own definition of what it means. For your friends, virginity may have different meaning, so the next time you talk with them on the subject of virginity you may want to get exactly what virginity means to them.

For most people, a girl is a virgin if she hasn't had intercourse (penis-in-the-vagina sex) and her hymen is still intact. Your hymen is the tissue that covers or partially covers the opening of your vagina. For others, a person is a virgin until they've had an orgasm. According to some, you have many opportunities to be a virgin. For example, you may be a virgin for vaginal sex but have experienced oral (mouth-to-genital) sex. Others think that you can reclaim your virginity by abstaining from sex. In any case, wait until you find a faithful partner whom you know is not infected with sexually transmitted infections including HIV the virus that causes AIDS before having intercourse.

The G-spot

Dear Counsellor:

My boyfriend and I talked about sex and we have decided to get checked out for all types of diseases to be sure about each other's bodies, also to be on the safe side. Not that we are not going to use protection, because we have learned and know about protection also. My main concern though is that my boyfriend is now suggesting that we could still enjoy each other's body but don't have penis-vagina sex. He said he wants to touch my G-spot in a romantic way and that could make me ejaculate. What is the G-spot and do female ejaculate?

J.J.

Dear J.J.

The G-spot (Grafenberg Spot) is located inside the front wall of your vagina about two inches from the opening. It's about the size of a pea and made up of soft tissue. It feels good when the G-spot is stimulated by pressure from fingers, dildo or a penis.

Yes, women can ejaculate. Some people think that only men ejaculate, but that's untrue. If your g-spot is stimulated during masturbation or sex with a partner, you may ejaculate. Female ejaculation fluid is clear and odourless.

Contact Phyllis Hall-Clarke

The Ministry of Health

2-4 King Street

Kingston.