From left: Voicemail, Shane-O, Vybz Kartel, George Lee, Keith Hinds

How some gal claim say dem hot and mi see dem a de ole bruk sale the big appliance store keep wah day ya? Wah do some gal? And why the people dem inna town caan invest inna some Secrets, or a little roll-on, mi go downtown and mi sinus almost kill me wid all the three-smell people dem inna town. No sah, dem need fi sort out dem ting. SUSS Time.

BARBEE AND SPARKLES MIX UP

The whole ah Portmore cross over the way Barbee go pon HYPE TV and ah talk say her dog name Sparkles and ting. She is a foreigner, so maybe she never know about a rising young female artiste name Sparkles from Portmore, mi hear say her management tear up 'bout the whole ting, but ah just so the ting set. Sparkles, just tek yu forward pon the next stage show because no dog caan more famous than you.

POOCHIE AND THE PEPPER SPRAY

How Poochie love create so much trouble wherever she go? The other day, she and her new crew wah she tek over, Star Girls from Greater Portmore, over Congress Fridays ah party when Poochie buck one of her enemy dem inna the dance, and my girl no do nothing more than pepper spray the gal over deh. But the thing is, the place have AC and every man start cough, so the man dem was forced to page her, wit kick and tump, mi a bet say he nah try da stunt de again.

WAH KILL DAINTY?

The whole ah the Back Road ah scratch dem head and ah wonder how that famous girl Dainty just get sick fi two weeks and drop down dead all of a sudden so? People ah talk all kinda tings, but all mi waan say is condolences to the family.

KARTEL DNA RESULTS ARE IN

Mi hear say the DNA results dem forward from foreign and Kartel is the father. Big up the Empire, a new princess from Runaway Bay officially join the family, big up Sherika and the whole entourage from St. Ann. Ah love we ah deal wid.

BUTTERFLY WINGS SELL OFF

Carol, Linton and the whole entourage fly in fi the annual treat ah Burnt Savannah on Monday, December 17 and the place nuh good again. Mi hear say the amount of barrel of books, toys and goodies dem bring in, right now dem a call Carol by the name of Mrs. Claus. The whole community ah look out fi it, worse Queen Paula and Deva Bratt de pon the show. Plus, mi hear say yu plan fi mek a contribution to Operation Santa 876 with Nikki Z to the charity in Spanish Town, Portmore people love wah yu a do.

SHANE-O FINDS A GEAR

How Shane O ah go so hard fi the Xmas? The man lock down Jamboree, then mash up Riding West and him ah lock crazy stage show round Kingston, the man find back a form wid Crab Inna Barrel, ah the street dem song.

STOP YOUR CRY BABY BEHAVIOUR

My gaaaawd up inna heaven! Mi say mi nuh know a wha tek, dutty poor, poor ting, gwaan all bout a commit di sins of sins a talk 'bout him ex-woman a plan fi him an' all now di woman nuh see him? A coulddah wha so? Mi say people di man have him good good woman and neva stop till she lef him 'cause him eva have a problem. Now when him think say she a go talk di tings him a run all 'bout and a talk 'bout how di woman waan damage him. She neva know, a hear she hear all di way a foreign! A shoulddah fi mi name yuh a call up all ova MoBay, Kingston, dungtown and all round fi mi sue yuh fi di $2 yuh have. Yes, Sharlene deh yah fi leggo di suss! (Suh read nex week fi part few MY GODDDD! Quite so).

QUESTION TIME

❒ Why D'Angel nah defend herself? She come in like weak fence, Danielle diss her, and now Ms. Diva ah talk de tings dem pon the Peppagrain riddim. ANSO!

❒ What sort of outfit Alicia Face Off ah go unleash pon her birthday party over Gaza on December 15th? Is Poochie invited?

❒ When last Voicemail find a hit? And mi nah talk the Bashco song pon mi TV.

❒ Ah true say Deva Bratt ah link good, good with Skatta now?

❒ When the medley video fi Nuffy North Coast riddim ah go drop?

❒ How Sakina, Bounty Killer favourite Portmore girl just ah happen so? She hotter than the rest. Mi hear say she de a Inches the other day and just crash nuff girl head wid her exclusive fashions.

❒ When Baby Chris and Viper ah go do the Ring Ding clash?

❒ Wah dat really happen wid MegaMart and JPS? It nuh look pretty at all at all.

❒ The other day, mi buck mi good friend Nikki pon the mall ah Portmore, gwaan Nikki, yu ave the flavour CD the whole a Rema a rock to, yu stall sell off. When yu plan fi open de bar?

❒ How Richie Stephens can find the serial dem so? Come on and shop at Courts jingle sell off, all mi little daughter ah sing it.

❒ Why Erup not on Sting 2007 and him have the big Click My Finger song?

❒ How Flair just get so hot all of a sudden? Ah pure blonde hair she a wear from wah day ya, and some mad outfit she pick up a Miami, everybody ah talk say her ting sort out. But she nah plan fi come back inna the entertainment biz? She too hype fi dat now?

❒ Ah true say Stacious plan fi clash Macka anywhere she ketch her pon the road now?

❒ How the people dem just vote out George Lee outta the mayorship? Him neva did a do a good job? Big up Keith Hinds, just govern the ting the right way, we need more money, more school, more house.

Email:

Sharlenesussu@gmail.com.