Dear Pastor,

I have a problem that I would like your advice on. I have known a guy for over nine years. We served in the military together and remained friends after our contracts ended. About six years ago, he told me how much he loved and admired me, but I thought he was joking, so I brushed it off. In 2005 we hooked up and I must say, it was everything I wanted my first time to be. Now he's talking about us having a serious relationship and a future together. He told me again how much he loves me. He's not seeing anyone, and he doesn't have any kids.

My problem is I don't know if he's serious and I don't know how to tell him that I have fallen in love with him also. He's one year younger than I. He's the same age as my younger brother; so to me it would be like dating my brother. My friends keep telling me to give him a chance and stop the foolishness. They say he's going to give up one day, and I will never find a man who's going to love and treat me the way he does. I just can't get past the age thing.

Thanks for your time.

J., New York, U.S.A.

Dear J.,

Your friends are quiet correct. The man is only one year younger than you. You should stop the foolishness and marry the man. What do you want? Do you want to turn into a miserable old lady when you could have been happily married?

Come on, you are a grown woman. If you love the man, let him know and stop pretending. If you don't, get smart; you will lose him.

Pastor