Dear Pastor,

I was in a relationship with a Grenadian guy. We were together for five years. Last summer, I met a Jamaican guy who led me to believe that he was single and was looking for a girlfriend. We later had many sexual encounters in which he refused to use a condom because he said "rasta man nuh wear condom". He found out about my boyfriend and he started to change. Then my boyfriend found about him and he started calling and threatening him.

About a month later, I found out I was pregnant. When I called the Jamaican guy to inform him, a woman picked up his phone, then hung up. Over the summer, I noticed that he wouldn't answer his phone. Sometimes he would call me back and be whispering. After hearing the woman answer his phone, she called back and asked who I was to him and what business he had with me. I told her we were in a relationship and hung up.

Then I called him and cursed him out and he told me he was using her to get his papers. I told him I was pregnant and he told me to "Dash it weh". I asked him why and he said because he wanted me to finish college. After that conversation, we spoke again over the next three months. Then, he changed his number and I had an abortion. I recently saw him at my job and we began to speak again.

Do you think he is using me for sex or he really got married for his papers?

D. M., New York, USA

Dear D. M.,

Don't you know if you have unprotected sex, you are likely to get pregnant? Well, if you didn't know, you know now. The Rasta man told you he is not using condoms because he is a Rasta. My dear, thousands of Rasta men use condoms. They are the responsible ones. I call them the "conscious" ones. They don't throw their seed here, there and everywhere.

Now you may get mad at me and that will be all right if you do. But you were playing a dirty game. You were having a relationship with the Grenadian man and you got involved with the 'dread'. I wonder if it is the locks that attracted you.

What I am trying to say is that it wasn't only the Rasta who was wrong. You were wrong in trying to fool the Grenadian man while at the same time going to bed with the Rasta. And you still have not learned your lesson. You are back with the Rasta again.

What do you really want? The man is living with his woman. Do you want him to get you pregnant again? Remember, the man doesn't like to use the condom. I say no more.

Pastor