Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I have a 10-month-old son. His mother and I are not together and we were never together in the first place. I just made a huge mistake which I have to live with for the rest of my life. The thing is, pastor, I'm in college so, therefore, I'm not working and she is not working also, but I have tried my very best to help her in every possible way that I can. I save from the little that I get for my bus fare and lunch money and sometimes I even go through the entire day without eating anything all because I want to save up a portion of money to give her to take care of the child. Although I'm in school and not working and we're not together, it's not like I have abandoned her or the baby. I do the very best that I can to help her, even though I haven't seen my son in a long while now.

Now and then I get little support from my family, but I know that they don't have it either. But I'm not sure if her family helps her anymore. Her mother used to help, but she's not living with her anymore. The thing is, it takes me a few weeks to acquire about $2,000 to give her and sometimes she makes it seems like I'm not doing anything to help her.

Pastor, I live in Clarendon and I attend school in St. Catherine. I only get $500 to go to school and it's not every day either. I have to pay $300 for bus fare and I am only left with $200 for lunch, plus I have to save from it and remember that it's not every day I get money. If you see what I eat for lunch sometimes, you wouldn't believe it. But I have to be satisfied with it.

My friends are always saying that I'm mean, but they wouldn't understand. Sometimes she's saying that $2,000 is not enough and rae rae bla bla, but I don't let that bother me, because I know I'm doing the best that I can for now. When I start working, it will be a different thing.

I just have one question. Do I have to support her as well when I start working? Or is it just the child alone? Remember that we're not together in any relationship and there was never any in the first place. I just made a lifetime mistake. I'm also a Christian and she's not. It's not like I'm going around having sex; it just happened only once. I only had sex once in my 21 years of living, and she's the first. Thank you for your advice.

J. M., Clarendon, Jamaica

Dear J. M.,

I want to assure you that I understand very well what you are saying. And you need to be commended for supporting the child in your little way. I want to encourage you to continue doing so. I would also like to suggest that you try to get a job during the Christmas break so that you would be able to earn some money and give the mother a little more than you are giving now.

When you are out of school and are employed, you will not be obligated to support the child's mother. You will be obligated to support your child.

Pastor