Dear Pastor,

I am a frequent reader of your column and want to say keep up the good work. I am a Jamaican who has been married for two years. I am now residing in the USA with my husband. He was living in Jamaica and I filed for him. He always wants to go visit friends, but never takes me. He goes to parties and never takes me and it is really bothersome. I confronted him about it and he said I don't want him to go anywhere, which is not true. But I would like to be included.

The second thing is that he is always on his phone. The phone is in my name so I always get the bill. I notice that when we are not together he talks to a person in Jamaica a lot. I called this number and it was a girl, but I didn't say anything to her and I never confronted him about it. I am concerned that it is not his mother. Which woman would you talk to at 2 in the morning when you are away from your wife? This number shows up multiple times, but the times show that I was never around.

I would like your advice on how to address this or should I leave it alone? I do feel a little insecure. I know relationships and marriages are built on trust. My concern is which woman do you talk to every day, 2 in the morning and it's not your mother, your wife or any family member? She is all the way in Jamaica but who knows what is going on? I feel like I am going crazy. I need your immediate advice. Thank you.

K.B., New Jersey, USA

Dear K.B.,

If your husband is not taking you out at all, something is wrong. It is either that he is ashamed of you, or where he is going is not suitable for a woman to be. It could also mean that he is taking other women. Don't fight him. Try and get a couple of your girlfriends and go with them to the movies, bowling, etc. When your husband sees that you are going out, he would want to know where you are going and why he cannot accompany you. Of course, you will have a wonderful reason to tell him that he cannot come and if he wants to come with you, you should be able to go with him from time to time.

You should talk to your husband about this woman he is calling late at nights. You shouldn't allow what he is doing to cause you to go crazy. You should tell him that you know what he is doing and you don't like it and he should desist immediately. You should remind him that you are not a fool and you should tell him that you suspect that he is having an affair with this woman and you will not tolerate his behaviour.

Pastor