Dear Pastor,

I am a 37-year-old woman and I have been having a relationship or an affair with a man who is 31years old. I met him in September 2002 while we were working together at the same place until 2005. In 2004, he told me that a woman he used to have sex with occasionally before we met said she was pregnant for him. Anyway I told him that was it and we went our separate ways for a while. But we still sleep together until now. I told him I don't want to be the other woman so we are finished. He doesn't want to let go. Everytime I go, he keeps calling me or making up some excuse. I really want to go, but he keeps coming back for more and more. He said he is not sleeping with the other woman, but he wants to marry her so his child could stay in the country because the woman is illegal.

Pastor, I need your advice. Thanks.

J.Z., London, England

Dear J.Z.,

You are a grown woman, why are you allowing this man to make a fool of you? Can't you see that all this man wants from you is sex and more sex? Don't blame him, blame yourself because it is you who open up for him at all times. You are behaving as a very simple woman. You believe you have something over the other woman.

The truth is, you have nothing. This man will not marry you. Whenever he is getting married, he will marry his child's mother. Stop believing his lies.

Pastor