Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for a while and I am hoping that you can help me. I am a 29-year-old female who has been with a 37-year-old man for more than three years, but we have known each other for almost five years.

The problem is that he does not trust me and it is driving me crazy because I have not lied to the man about anything since being with him. I tell him almost everything. I think that because in the past when I was with my ex and he cheated on me practically the whole 10 years that I was with him and in return I cheated on him. I told my present boyfriend about my past and now I think he is using it against me. I love him a lot and this is the first time in my life I am with someone and have no thoughts of cheating or of even looking at another man.

There are times when he questions me about being his woman and I assure him that I am all his. It is like he can't believe we have been together for three years. In the beginning, he tried to be with me and I didn't give him the chance because I thought he had a woman. I don't know what to do anymore to let this man trust me. He thinks that because I don't answer my phone at times when I am home, I am with someone. He says he loves me, but he makes me think twice because if you love someone you are supposed to learn to trust them. Whenever he does not get his way, he just shuts me out and doesn't talk to me for days. He says because I am attractive I think I can get away with things. He says I act as if I am too smart for my own good.

Pastor, I really want to be this man forever, but sometimes he makes it hard for me to want that. Please, help me.

T.T., Ontario, Canada

Dear T.T.,

I understand why this man is always questioning whether you have another man. Both of you were aware of what you were doing before you gave up your former lovers. So now he finds it difficult to believe that he is all yours. There is very little you can do to convince him that you are not up to your old tricks. You are not accusing him of having other women. Why is it he finds it so difficult to believe that you don't have another man?

I could only encourage you to continue to be true. However, you need to tell this man that he should stop being a boy because it is unfair to accuse you of doing wrong when he has no proof.

Pastor