Dear Pastor,

I need your advice on a lot of things. I am 26 years old and I live in America. My problem is that I have a boyfriend in Jamaica whom I love with all my heart. He is my soul mate. I have not seen him in about eight years. He has a girlfriend in Jamaica whom I know about because we tell each other almost everything. But the thing is, I am living with a guy as my roommate and I do everything for him. I cook and clean and when he is sick, I am there. We used to spend so much time together. When I moved in five months ago, my work hours were crazy, but I used to try just to find time for him. Now, he has no time for me and I tell him that I will never fall in love with him because I have just come out of a two year relationship.

I was to get married to this guy but he broke it off with me after he came from Iraq. It broke my heart so badly that I have never got over it. Now I am falling in love with this guy and it is hurting me just to see him with another girl. I think he is giving me mixed feeling too because if I don't come home early he calls to check up on me and if I tell him that I am not coming home, he would ask me where I am going. If he has company over he still finds the time to come in my room and kiss me good morning or good night. He is the only guy I am sleeping with. I want him to tell me how he feels, but he wont and it hurts. Am I trying too hard for him to love me back or am I just a fool looking for love in the wrong places? I just think I am getting older and I want to start a family soon. I have one child and he is my pride and joy.

M.G., New York, U.S.A.

Dear M.G.,

If you want to get yourself sorted out, you should have your own little apartment and don't share with a man. That will give you time to think, to make your own decisions and to decide which direction you should take. Right now you are being used because you are sleeping and sharing a house with a man who is not interested in making you his wife and who has other women. You cannot be a happy woman.

The guy in Jamaica has a girlfriend, so you are not sure about him either. You want to be loved, but you are making wrong decisions. It is time for you to give yourself a break from men until you are absolutely sure that you are in love with one who would not use you or fool you.

My prayers are with you.

Pastor