Dear Pastor,

I am in love with my high school sweetheart, so much so that I am willing to be a 'matey'. Every day I pick her up so we can have those lovely moments on the track jogging.

Sometimes I feel frustrated about being the 'matey', but I'm not ready to be number one because if she could cheat on him, why wouldn't she do it to me? Pastor, when will she upgrade me to boyfriend and not a 'matey'? I mean, I do everything like her boyfriend, if not more. If she wants me to wash her feet, I would wash them. If she wants me to wash her panties, I would wash them. We talk together like girlfriends.

This is stressing me out real badly.

D.J., St Catherine, Jamaica

Dear D.J.,

What are you trying to do? Do you have so much money to waste? If you do, go ahead and blow it.

This woman will 'eat you out' and laugh at you. You are not smart at all. Even if you wash her underwear, it wouldn't mean a thing to her.

Pastor