Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, while I was in high school, some of my classmates and I used to have these incredible fantasies about some of our female teachers.

We had some back in the day at DeCarteret College and later on at Knox that were just absolutely 'decadent'. When you are at that age and you have hormones raging through your system like how sodium reacts to water, it is hard not to get sexually agitated when a woman who was to teach you things to prepare you for the years ahead, only appeals to the most basic and primal part of your being.

Such a woman also indirectly appealed to our minds because in our naiveté, we honestly believed that should we do well in her class, you never could tell how she would choose to reward our academic achievements.

There was one teacher in particular who, if she had just pecked me on the cheek, I could have died there and then and gone to heaven thinking that my life's work had been accomplished. That was the only woman who made me actually want to learn math.

But, I digress. Of course, for most of us those carnal thoughts remained just that, thoughts. Only a few, we were told, were allowed on to those hallowed grounds.

Fast forward way, way into the future and we have these reports coming out of the United States where more and more female teachers are willingly getting their grooves on with their male students. Boy, what I would give to have been born three decades later and living in the U.S.

I kid. But the happenings of the past few years got me thinking about what has changed so much, besides the obvious, that would make teachers want to get busy with kids half their age, especially female teachers, because we all know, many men just need to know that a girl is in puberty and he gets all hot and bothered.

I remember watching experts on television explaining what they believe is the cause behind these women being engaged in intense sexual contact with their 14-year-old pupils. None of their reasons involved providing an ideal learning environment for the pupil in question. What I do know is that when the news finally broke about the affairs, those kids must have become instant celebrities in their schools. They will always be known as the guys who were knocking boots with their teachers. Well, I know for sure in Jamaica, they would be crowned king by their peers.

Troubled

The experts believe that some of these women, who were teachers, had some psychological deficiencies that made them find emotional refuge in the arms of their teenaged pupils. In other words, their elevators did not go all the way up to their top floors. And there is some truth in that. Remember that hot blonde teacher, Debra Lafave, who was accused of having sex with her 14-year-old student; the one whom her lawyer professed was too pretty to go to prison and everyone eventually agreed because the charges were dropped? Did she seem quite all right to you? No, and neither were all the others, for that matter.

All this is kind of depressing now because what it suggests is that if that teacher back then had yielded to the temptations of my Vitalis-enhanced 'fro and my soft early teen body and showed me the gates to heaven, she would have had to be crazy to do so. And you know what, I am inclined to agree.

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