Dear Pastor,

I live in America and my husband and I have been married for 19 years. During that time, my husband fathered three children that I know of, but he claimed he has another one out there. He has been cheating on me for years. I have three children with him and now the oldest is telling me that he knew about the cheating from he was 14 years old and saw what I was going through with his dad. I am the only one supporting this family for the past five years. He had a freak accident a few years ago and he has not worked since. If he does do something on the side he would hide that money from me. I have to be supporting the entire family and sometimes, if it wasn't for my oldest child, I don't know what I would do.

A few weeks ago, my husband went to Jamaica and he cheated on me again with one of the girls in my district. I bought him stuff to go down there so he could be presentable, and he did this again. The light that was lit inside of me for him has just turned off. I am so numb inside whenever he comes close to me. I have panic attacks whenever he is around and now I have to be taking medication for that. I asked him to leave, but he wants me to sell the house and give him half. I pay all the necessary bills each month so I gave him an ultimatum. He is to either find a job or move out. I am still waiting to see what he is going to do. I am scared for my youngest child because he is so close to his dad. The others know what's going on. My oldest told me not to stoop to this anymore.

I work so hard sometimes I cannot sleep at nights. I pray to God every day. I need His help to guide me through this. Every time I come home in the evenings, he has some friend there and they are always drinking. I am so tired of everything. We even went and talked with a therapist but nothing worked.

So, I need your expertise as to what I should do at this time. I would really appreciate your response on this.

Thank you.

F.A., Atlanta, U.S.A.

Dear F. A.,

I suggest that you speak to an attorney-at-law. Do not make any private agreement with your husband. Put the matter into the hands of an attorney.

Pastor