Dear Pastor,

I am a young lady living in England. I visited Jamaica and met a policeman with whom I started a relationship. We have been together for two years now. The thing that is of concern to me is that when we are together we are fine. When I am back home, all he does is demand money.

I bought us a house and he already has a beautiful car. But no matter what he gets, it just never seems to be enough. I get stressed at times from the demands he makes.

He wants us to get married but I am having doubts. I give him just about anything he wants and supplement his wages monthly, yet, he still calls me and argues with me about money. I feel like an ATM.

He tells me the loveliest things and makes me feel special when we are together. He is a fantastic lover and very adventurous in bed. Sometimes I wonder if he wants me to pay for that. I am a beautiful educated woman who feels as though I got caught in a trap. Help me, please.

M.F., England

Dear M.F.,

The truth is, madam, although you are educated, you are trying too hard to please this police officer. He can only offer you good sex, but you can offer him money. And although he may love you, he loves your money much more. Without your money, the love will die. If you really want to test him, stop sending him money and he is bound to say that he suspects that you have another man. He would even tell you that you are very cruel because you know how tough things are with him and that you are holding back on him.

Pastor

You have been too liberal in giving. You are not even sure whether both of you will get married and yet you are pouring your money on this man. By the way, you said a house was purchased. Was this purchased with money from both of you or with your money only?

Love seems to make some people do stupid things and sometimes it is when it is too late, eyes are opened and depression steps in.

Perhaps this policeman loves you, but it is time for you to tell him to stand on his two feet and pay his own bills. Real men don't always rely on women for financial support. There are times when women should assist their men, but they should not do so all the time, especially if they are not married.

Pastor