Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem with my girlfriend. We are talking for less than a year. We both live in the United States, but in separate states, which is about nine hours' drive away. She is 19 years old and I'm 22. I visited her at her home on a long trip about a month ago.

I left after spending a week and then a few weeks later she called me and told me that she loves me, but she had made a mistake and had sex with her ex-boyfriend. I was so mad when I heard the news. She broke up with him some months ago because he got another girl pregnant. She said that she is sorry because she felt horny and that she didn't love him anymore.

I don't know if I can forgive her, but I love her with all my heart. I always look out for her and take good care of her.

She is in college and is doing great. She got baptised when she arrived in the States over a year now. I am wondering if it's because it's a long distance relationship why things have gone bad. I need your advice on what to do.

O.H., New Jersey, USA

Dear O.H.,

Anything is likely to happen when people are young and vulnerable. Indeed this young lady and you are miles apart and the young man she was sexually involved with before you is evidently close to her and she got carried away with him.

What happened is likely to happen again. Do not be surprised if one of these days you are told that they are back together.

Even if it doesn't happen again, you are going to find it very difficult to trust her. Already what happened has affected you.

Pastor

I suggest, therefore, that you consider this young lady a very good friend and that you tell her that you want both of you to give each other a break to allow time to heal your broken heart.

This is not the time to fight to see whether she would choose between you and the guy. Assure her of your prayers, but don't visit her. Concentrate on your college work and encourage her to do the same.

Pastor