Shaggy - File

What a gwaan toppa-top massive? Uno alright? Mi hope so. Mi seh, a pure tings mi a hear a gwaan a yard and abroad! Mi caan believe. Anyway, mek we just get into it...

Best of the BestNow massive, one a di INK memba dem go a di Best of di Best show inna Miami and a pure tings mi a hear. Lawd have mercy. Now first of all, mi hear seh di Jamaican artiste dem tear dung di place! Munga, Barrington Levy, Ele, Matterhorn inna him astronaut suit, Bounty, Mavado, Bling, New Kidz, Shaggy, Buju! Pure tings! Bwoy, it look like mi tek my vacation di wrong time, a shoulddah fi Memorial Day weekend. Oh well. Anyway people, uno nuh hear seh after Shaggy perform and smaddy approach him fi mek di media do some interview wid him, him pop style bout say him nuh have no time fi dat! Lawd. Smaddy send go tell di press say 'Shaggy doesn't want to do any press, he has other priorities'. Likkle after dat yuh see him round deh a tek press. Lawd. Him too bright. If Akon did have flight fi ketch and still siddung fi interview, a wha do you so? Anyway, di rest a di massive, from wha mi hear bout uno performance, mi feel proud.

Memorial shooting

Now people, see di real drama yah! Di massive a mek mi know say Bunji keep one celebrity football match inna Miami pon Memorial Day and a straight gunshot mash up di ting. Di amount a people vex, can't count. Imagine, pon one family fun day, yuh have man a hype when Bounty a perform and start buss shot inna air?! Mi say di pickney dem frighten so till, cause dem nuh know nuttin bout gun salute, dem tink a straight shootout!

But hear di real joke. New Kidz and di Twin dem did stan up near one a di man dem wha when deh buss shot.People, chatty Twin woman say when she look, no New Kidz! Di Twin dem stand up just a look pon di drunk man a wave di gun and a fire, a say dem used to gun salute. Listen to mi

Sherlock massive, why uno mash up di man show? Uno expect say people a go waah go next year? Uno tink nobody a go waan gih di man no permit fi keep di show? Uno know say uno coulddah kill smaddy? Mi caan stand uno.

By di way chatty twin, wha deh happen wid yuh son autopsy? Whe di mumma and har man deh? Dem still a hide? Wha deh gwaan?

Miss Jamaica Universe

Mi can't even laugh! It nuh funny! Now mi neva really a keep abreast a Miss Zahra after she win cause mi know say she naw go no further dan right yah so and mi did say so inna mi column. Anyway when mi tek a stock di competition come and gone and mi nuh hear nothing, so mi ask one a di INK memba dem how much she come; di woman a come tell mi say 'oh somewhere between 15 and 77!' Dem wicked eeh? Lawd, mi haffi go purge di INK. Mi need some Godly, kindhearted people inna mi link. But anyway, I laugh so till. My girl yuh put di Rasta dem pon di map, but mi tell yuh say Trump nuh pleased wid di kind a gyal dem wha we a send cause a nuh fi dem standard of beauty so yuh shoulddah enter Miss World. Hush babes.

High School Porn

Smaddy wha tell mi why so much high school porn video a come out? A wha do dem likkle pickney yah doh God? Mi say massive, mi see di last set a picture dem di high schooler dem tek pon dem last day a school and a straight hairy shot wid hand a go whe it nuh fi go fi likkle pickney! Inna my day wi write inna year book, mark up clothes, but wi nuh tek picture of wi vegetable! Parents uno need fi talk to uno pickney bout sex and how fi carry demself. Simply because uno nuh talk to dem and dem nuh say nuttin, nuh mean say nuttin naw gwaan!

What are not dis?

❒ Yuh really a shag di reporter? Yuh nuh have yuh woman, aka yuh babymodda? So mi nuh understand who di young ting reporter yuh when deh get close to inna di MI? Mi nuh know why yuh booming and basticicking di foreign ting. Mi nuh know.

❒ Munga and Camille uno still a go strong eeh? Mi like dat. Big up unoself.

❒ Lady Bleu and Da'Ville, mi love how uno ting going. Wha yuh say Bleu, you're always on his miiiii-iiind!

❒ A which male dancer some man rape and him a try cover it up? Heh hey!

❒ What a way di massive a come dung pon Shebada eeh?

❒ Smaddy email me say dem thank KSAC fi tek dung Jah Cure poster dem. Tell mi wha uno tink bout di issue and next week mi share my views.

Toppa Top People

Chrissy; Taylor Hall massive; Bones; Shinee; Bines; KumKum and Weedy whe have Birdy and Dian weak from (Portmore); Miss Pink; Shelly and Deidre (Mandeville); McLean Wint (Christiana); Chin (Mandeville); Caullett and all the Holy Childhood; Amy A.; Sexy Terry (spread di word say mi deh pon MSN now Mondays and Fridays 4-6 p.m. so uno add mi!); Jody (Mobay) her beau Andre, sisters-in-law Aneika, Lexie and di Ramble Hill massive. No more space, next week mi continue. Uno tek care and link mi pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com or text 580-9309.