Dear Pastor,

In December 2003 I reconnected with an old high school friend while on vacation. We used to be friends in high school and when I migrated to Florida he did the same, and we remained friends until I moved out of the state to attend college and lost contact. In December, he said he was not seeing anyone and since the same applied to me, we decided to start corresponding. Over the next eight months, I made several visits to see him as we began to date exclusively, or so I thought.

He also has a son whom I have accepted, and whenever I came home he is well taken care of. So, I was not aware that there was someone else in the picture. Well, about November of 2004 he started to act strangely, so I took an unexpected trip to Jamaica to find out what was going on.

It was then he told me that he was "kinda" seeing someone and she is now two months' pregnant. He was very apologetic and I knew he felt bad, but I was not the most understanding person at that time. So I did not make it easy for him.

Crashing down

I was devastated and about three months after, with him constantly calling several times a month, I decided that everyone deserves a second chance, so I forgave him.

We kept the relationship going and things were fine, even though I knew he had this other person had a child on the way. I tried to make sure it did not bother me. He also made sure that when I came home it was all about me, even though he helps his brother and father operate the family business. I accepted his daughter, who was born in July 2005.

In December 2005, I found out I was pregnant. It was planned and we are happy about our daughter. He still, however, has not said anything to the other person. We have talked about this matter and he said that he cannot decide because we both treat him well. The sad thing is that all his family members, both in Jamaica and in Florida, along with his friends in this small town in the hills of Westmoreland, know about me and the child, but the other person does not. I told him it was only a matter of time before his little world comes crashing down and he needs to deal with the issue now rather than having this person hear from someone else.

I have already made some decisions where we are concerned and our daughter is the priority. I just hope he deals with the matter at hand and let this person know what is really going on.

Will he ever be honest?

V. H., Fort Lauderdale, USA

Dear V. H.,

You seem to have much confidence in this man, but as I see it, he has done enough to indicate to you that he is not straightforward and you have no guarantee that he will ever marry you. To be brutally frank, I will be surprised if he ties the knot with you. You have nothing over the other girl. This man is a liar. He wanted to leave you but you did not want to let him go, so you allowed yourself to become pregnant. Yes, you wanted a child and he gave you what you wanted. I wish you well. May your future be bright.

Pastor