Dear Pastor,

I have a serious problem. I am a married man and I am having a continuous affair with a married woman. The problem is she has a baby and I know the baby is mine because he looks just like me. However, she told her husband that the baby is his.

I want to be in the child's life because he is my first son. It hurts inside when I talk to her and hear his voice in the background. I do not want to cause any problem for both of us, plus they take good care of the child but I do not know what to do next.

Please can you help me with this issue?

J. L., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear J. L.,

Why would this woman have to tell her husband that he is the father of the child? Is he aware that she is having an affair, so she felt compelled to assure him that he is the father? And if you know that this woman and you have gone to bed on a number of occasions and there is a possibility that you are the father of her last child but the child is registered in her husband's name, why don't you keep quiet? It is only a matter of time and the truth will be known. Why show up yourself now?

What you would like to do is to break up this woman's marriage. She was foolish to get involved with you and now you can't keep yourself quiet because you feel that you are the father of the child. Suppose you are wrong? You would have caused much pain to this woman and her husband. You don't care about your marriage but goodness gracious, give this married woman a break. You don't have to tell the world what both of you have done. Be a man. Be a big man. Act intelligently. Leave the woman and her family alone.

Pastor