Dear Pastor,

Can you tell me the secret to loving a Jamaican man? I am an American woman and sometimes I do not understand my husband, emotionally. I guess the way he is has a lot to do with his culture, which is the reason I don't understand him.

We have been married for almost three years. I am also an independent American woman.

L.B., U.S.A.

Dear L.B.,

A person's cultural, educational and religious background etc. will impact upon his/her relationship. West Indians do not behave as Americans. Some American women love to control men and West Indian men resent that. Some American women do not feel that they should be asked at any time by their West Indian husbands where they are going or what time they hope to return. Very often, the women tell the men that it is none of their business.

American women who live in the south take pleasure in cooking for their men but most American women want to eat out and Jamaican men don't appreciate that. Many American women are very loud and like to talk down to West Indian men. And these women give the impression that they are smarter than West Indian people. Some constantly remind the men that had it not been for them, they would not be in America. Tell me, which Jamaican man, wants to hear that everyday?

On the other hand, there are some wonderful American women who are Christians and their religious upbringing has helped them to love and appreciate their men regardless of which country the men originate from. These women are educated and they work with their husbands and have bought homes and raised wonderful families. They don't try to bully their men or behave as if they know everything because they are Americans.

I don't know what is the problem between you and your man. Therefore, what I would suggest that both of you go to see a family counsellor.

Pastor