Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey nuff time some people whe no drive love direc people whe drive an wen dem cause disaster dem gwaan like de smaddy dem direc a eediat.

Jackass had planned to write this one before, but a trip to the supermarket in the dray cart on Sunday made the matter even more urgent. Jackass went to buy rotisserie fowl (on behalf of some other peeps, because y'all know that Jackass don't eat no bird at all, much less one that skin over in the air and look wrinkle up) and parked outside the supermarket. When he came out, somebody in one of those Benz SUVs was in the process of parking behind him (why do so many people who drive expensive cars fling them down to inconvenience other people? Is it a subconscious thing, where they really need to be noticed?) and the security guard was dealing with the matter, directing him to park where someone else close by was coming out.

This left the security guard in the delicious position of getting the chance to direct not one, not two but (drum roll please) three vehicles. And it became four, as when Jackass was backing out someone else was coming in (bway, a nuff people come fi rotiserrie fowl pon Sunday!), which required Jackass to twist and turn, and did he have a field day. He gave more signals than someone on an aircraft carrier directing fighter planes to land or a policeman at the intersection of Waterloo Road, Hope Road and Trafalgar Road on a Friday evening when rain is falling and the traffic lights are not working.

Tight spot

And Jackass thought that the world is not level at all. Not that a security guard automatically cannot and does not drive, but that people who are not driving at the moment (and some of whom cannot drive at all tall) love to give directions to people who are driving.

But Jackass is lucky, for I are a male. It is the women who have it really bad and, if it was not so sad sometimes, it would always be really funny. I am sure that you have seen it before, where a woman is either trying to park or get out of a tight or not so tight spot. Out of nowhere come a man, who positions himself and starts waving his hands around, saying "come up, come up. Tap, tap. Jus' a likkkle more. Arright hol it. Win up yu steering. Right ova, right ova." Then comes another, who positions himself right beside her door and proceeds to give conflicting instructions. Then another comes behind and a fourth by the passenger side door.

Jackass swears that if one could go on top he would be up there, bending over and shouting directions upside down through the windscreen.

In the end the result, of course, is that the woman gets thoroughly confused (unless she does the right thing and run them all in the first place), maybe slaps something and then the directors say "see wha me tell yu, ooman cyaan drive" and walk away (maybe one of them shoobing away his handcart, calf muscles straining).

Jackass sey di worl no level. Jackass sey some a de han signal non-driva gi when dem a direc' driva look like when man a mix concrete pon grung.