Dear Pastor,

I've been married for nearly two years to a man from Jamaica. He is living with me abroad. The problem is that he is still having difficulty adjusting to his new environment. I married him so that he could get his stay, but he still talks to women over the phone from back home. Sometimes the conversations are steamy and it upsets me. But, he said that these women mean nothing.

Recently, he told me that he loves me more like a friend than like a wife. This is because it was only a business marriage. After hearing that, I was devastated, but I continued to be a good wife and friend because I love him and I feel that we complement each other. We even moved into our first home recently.

Pastor, please tell me if I am being naîve. Is this relationship worth fighting for? I believe God brought us together for a reason, but he can't see that. I'm tired and confused.

A. D., New York, USA

Dear A. D.,

I am going to be frank with you, just as I have tried to be frank and straightforward to others. Your husband and you did a business marriage. You admitted that the purpose of the marriage was for him to obtain permanent status in America. The foundation of the marriage was not love, it was strictly business. True, both of you are living as husband and wife and sharing common facilities. Evidently, this man has tried to be good to you because you have been mighty good to him. You have given him your all. But, he finds it difficult to love you as his wife.

Having sex with you is nothing to him. He'll do it with other women just the same way. There is nothing special about you. Goodness, gracious me, I wish I could tell you to hang on in there because this man would change and learn to love you. I can't, because I know it won't happen. So, here I go. My darling, prepare for the worst. One of these days this man is going to leave you and go with a woman he truly loves. He will still want to have you as a friend but not as his wife.

Whatever you do now, bear in mind that this man will leave. Therefore, be careful how you do business jointly. It might not be a bad idea for you to get advice from your lawyer before you further tie up yourself in business with this man. I believe that he is buying time but he will eventually leave.

Pastor