Dear Pastor,

I'm a 20-year-old female in love with an 18-year-old guy. We have been together for almost 2 years now and we are very much in love. But there is a problem. His family does not like me, especially his mother. She hates me with a passion, for what reason, I don't know. Seven months after she found out that we are together, she told me that the relationship is not going to happen, not over her dead body.

Right now, we are together but we have to hide it because if she finds out we will be in trouble. So, we have to keep it to ourselves. Pastor, I'm asking you, should we just tell her whether she likes it or not, or should I let him choose between his mother and me? We love each other but his mom is the only problem in our lives.

C. M., Toronto,

Dear C. M.,

Any good mother would be concerned about her 16-year- old son having an intimate relationship with an 18-year-old girl. You are now 20 years old and he is 18, but when the relationship started, he was not even an adult. What stand did you expect his mother to take? She was correct and you should not be against her for standing up against the relationship.

He is now an adult. Both of you have carried on your antics for two years. So, if he feels now that he is a man, let him tell his mother about you. He shouldn't be hiding. Let him face his mother.

Some of you girls are rather feisty, you know, especially you older girls who take young boys and teach them everything. You expect the mothers to say nothing and you challenge the guys to choose between their mothers and yourselves. Yes, some of you are truly feisty and you happen to be one of them. You may curse me as much as you like, I must tell you the truth. I hope when this guy grows older and leaves you, you wouldn't blame his mother. You would have taught him well to do everything with you. You are a very feisty girl.

Pastor