DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR. AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. FOR PERSONAL REPLIES PLEASE INCLUDE A STAMPED, SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE. TELEPHONE: 9291667/8

Dear Pastor,

Keep up the good work. I'm a 22-year-old woman who has been struggling miserably for the past year and a half. I was with a guy for a very long time, about six years. He promised me everything that any woman would want out of life. But things have changed. Now, he acts as if we weren't really together. Whenever we see each other, he pretends to be my friend and we're not. He has a girlfriend now and she knows a lot about our past. I try to avoid him in everyway I can, but it is not easy because I still love and care for him.

I now reside in the States and even though we're not together, it hard to move on with another person. My heart seems to be unable let go. I think of him constantly. Before I go to bed, I would pray for his health and trust that God will bless and keep him. I will be visiting Jamaica in July, and everytime I think of it (visiting Jamaica) my heart aches.

I'm happy and sad at the same time, but what else can I do? I love him and I know he loves me too, but this girl he's with seems to have a spell on him. I try not to interfere with his present life, because I'm not a trouble maker. I only want what's best for him.

Please, pastor, advice me on what to do.

S. E., New York, U.S.A.

Dear S. E.,

Evidently, you love this man very much. However, you are punishing yourself by not accepting that the intimate relationship between the both of you is dead. This young man has moved on and although both of you are not seeing each other and communicating, you are behaving as if there is something special about you that this man has not seen. In your mind you are angry, not only with him but with his present girlfriend. And, until you have come to the place where you accept that the relationship is over, your thoughts will always be on him and hope that one day, something will happen between himself and this girl and he will run back to you.

There are lots of people who are secretly in love with others but it is only in their mind and they are not haunted by the thought. A very wealthy man in the United States of America, said that he regretted that he never told the late Princess Diana that he loved her and would have loved to have had intimate relationship with her. He said that he believes that she would have wanted to become intimate with him. Perhaps that man was only trying to 'big up' himself, so to speak.

I'm glad you pray for this young man, but please, forget the thought of becoming his girlfriend again. Pray that God will remove such thoughts from your mind.

Pastor