Dear Pastor,

I am a frequent reader of your column and over the years you have helped a lot of people. I am having a little problem which has been on my mind. My partner and I are expecting our first child after being together for four years. I am going into my fifth month of pregnancy and loving every minute of it. Over the years he has proved to me that he is 'father material'.

The problem is that my partner has a child from a previous relationship which has never been a problem to me from the beginning, but the child's mother has become increasingly annoying and she keeps playing her sad old tricks.

We are both residing in the United Kingdom for the past six years and he was not around to see his son grow up because he came here seeking a better life for the family he had back home with her. Without a doubt he has continued to support his child financially and if he doesn't have it, I always do what I can to help. They broke up when he found out she got pregnant for his friend. We did not want to rush into things as I have observed their interactions over the past years.

Lately, since she found out I was expecting his child, she has become a nuisance. She calls him at three or four in the morning, which I don't support with the fact that I have to get up at 7 to go to work. He keeps telling her not to do so and when he switches his phone off, of course, you hear all the famous Jamaican bad words. She keeps arguing how her son's money is going to go, and that he's going to starve because of me. She also argued that I got pregnant to trap him. She has never worked in her life to support her two kids as a mother. I have always worked for what I want, and it feels even better when I can say I have contributed. There are mornings when I am ill and would like to stay home, but I have to remind myself that I am now working for my child. He was so fed up of her constant arguments that he refused to call. I would have to beg him to keep in contact, because everything is about his son.

I do believe that everyone can work together for a better upbringing of their son without bringing him and me in the middle of their war. I just want to have a healthy pregnancy and get on with my life. I think she keeps missing the point that the son is his priority and not her anymore.

I just thought I would share my story because there are a lot of women who think that stepmothers are horrible and want to spite the other children's mothers, or out to get the best of the man.

Please give me your fatherly advice.

N.M., United Kingdom

Dear N.M.,

Your partner and you have a good relationship. Don't allow this woman to make you unhappy and spoil the healthy relationship that you are now enjoying. You partner is a good father. I hope that he will marry you soon. Encourage him to continue to take care of the son he has with the woman who is evidently giving him trouble. And please, don't get in to any argument with her.

Pastor