Dear Pastor,

I have read your column every day since it was published in the Jamaican Star. I am 22 years old and currently attending college in the state of Maryland. I am originally from Kingston, Jamaica but migrated at an early age to live abroad with my parents. I am writing to you to discuss the matter of 'lying, unfaithful men'.

In August 2006, I came out of a three year relationship with my ex boyfriend. I really thought we had something worth holding on to, but it turned out that I was wrong. He was cheating on me and I found out from his friend. When I confronted my ex about it, he didn't really deny it. He actually started cursing a lot of profanity and he hung up on me, and I haven't heard from him since. So, I came to the conclusion that it was over.

Met someone new

I met someone about two weeks after I broke up with my ex, and we decided to talk. I knew deep down that it was too soon to get into anything with someone new, but I decided to do so any way. About a month into everything, I found out he was a liar as well. He lied about his child's mother having a visa, and he lied about still being with her. So I stopped talking to him as well.

In March I met someone new. He took me out for my birthday, and we really kicked it off nicely. He introduced me to his mother and everything was going well. Now, he had decided that Maryland is really not the place for him, and he is going back to the Big Apple because things in Maryland are too slow. It's going to hurt to see him go, because I have really developed feelings for him, but so be it.

I was with a guy in Jamaica about four years ago, he still calls me, sends me greeting cards, and from time to time he will send me things. I still love him and care for him a lot. The problem is that he is too far. In his heart and his mind, I am still his girl no matter who I am with. I can call him and cry to him, and he is always there to listen. Everyone is telling me I should be with him, because out of all the guys I have been with he respects me the most. He is supposed to get a basketball scholarship so he can travel to the States but that is not a sure thing.

Mothers know best

Sometimes mothers do know best, because if I had listened to my mother, I wouldn't have got myself into relationships with these men. It's just the thought of being lonely, something that I am not used to. I always say to myself that its only Jamaican men who are like that and I need to be with a man who is not Jamaican for a change. However, from listening to my friends, its not only Jamaican men who lie to women. Thanks a lot for your time

T. B., Maryland, USA

Dear T. B.,

You have been moving from one relationship to the other and what you really need to do is to cool it. Some of these men you don't even know very well and perhaps you are too easy in giving yourself to them.

You have to set high standards for yourself and whenever you meet a man who shows interest in you, you should date for a long time and during that time find out as much as possible everything about him.

There are some men who feel that every woman is a fool and after 6:00 clock, they can do anything they want with them. Yes, sister, men say all the time that after 6:00 women don't have any sense.

Take a break from men right now. Occupy your time by doing extra curricula activities. And concerning the man in Jamaica, keep the friendship going. You never can tell how this relationship may develop.

Pastor