Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey when dog a mek noise inna matin' season an' den puppy a mek noise afta matin' season a always de bitch get de blame, aldough a de man dog dem really mek de whole eap a nize gwaan.

So the peace and quiet of the solidly middle-class community where Jackass cotches his hampers has recently been shattered by the howls and snarls and snaps of the male dogs looking a piece. And a piece is right, because it is a matter of several male dogs trying to get under the tail of one bitch.

There is no thought of finding the whole of a hole one of their own as there is a shortage of bitches, unlike the two-footed situation where there is a shortage of good men but an endless supply of 'ol dawg'.

Of course, there are fights. Lots of fights. And, of course, there is noise. Lots of noise. Of course, the people who are trying to sleep are very upset. And the most common complaint, from men and women alike, is "me no know wha happen to da dog deh. Every year she jus' a cause bare nize eena de place."

Hmm. So let Jackass get this straight. The bitch is simply in heat, having no choice but to obey the chemical changes in her body. She did not invite the male dogs to come a looking, although Jackass knows that when bitch is on fire ol dawg will be anxious to cool it. But the emphasis is always on the bitch, with demands to 'get rid a har' or 'why dem no lack har up?'

It almost never goes the other way and it is not level at all. The bitch always gets the blame and it simply is not fair. Chances are if she had a choice she would have one steady partner and not breed for a different ol dawg every year, but she just cannot fight off the pack.

But Jackass was thinking, that the same situation that applies to bitches applies to women. Some time ago, a pastor said that when women dress in skimpy clothing they invite rapists and, to Jackass' surprise, quite a few women agreed with him. Those in agreement, saying 'Amen' with the pastor, were generally of the Christian variety, self-righteously secure in their long skirts and bell-foot underwear, bitchily turning up their noses at their less-covered counterparts' parts.

(Jackass could not help but wonder if their agreement with the pastor had something to do with their men being tempted. After all, no amount of prayer and fasting can stop a man - or woman - from looking.)

And when a young girl starts exploring her sexuality, there are sure to be those who wag their heads and observe that "Mazie dawta a bruck out". This is in a society where many a billboard has pictures of young female flesh in triple and fiple life size, where the beauty contests are all the rage (swimsuit section and all) and corporate Jamaica pumps lots of money into events and artistes that push sex, sex, sex and more sex.

Then when the girls, under pressure to look as sexy as they can be, start to do so, people say that they are breaking out like a sore foot.