Dear Pastor,

I am a 22-year-old young lady who is in a relationship with a married man. He told me that he and his wife are not involved; they are just living together because of their daughter. He also told me that he sleeps alone. However, I find this hard to believe because she cooks and irons for him. She also calls him a lot.

I am really in love with this man and he says he loves me too. He is selfish though; sometimes he calls me and sometimes he doesn't. I always ask him to tell me the truth about his family, but I get the same answer every time. I am a decent girl and I would sacrifice my love and break up with him if he is with his wife because I am not a home wrecker. How can I find out the truth? His wife has been away for three weeks and I have not seen or heard from him. He doesn't call me, so I don't call him either. Please help me because I want to know the truth.

J.L., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear J.L.,

If this man's wife has been away and you have not heard from him, don't you believe that he is sending you a message? May I suggest that you ask this man to arrange a meeting for all three of you to meet, so, that you would know the truth of the matter. But please, do not call his wife on the telephone. Insist, however, that a meeting be arranged by him for you to ascertain whether or not he is speaking the truth.

If this man insists that he will not have such a meeting and that he doesn't not want his wife to know about you because the time is not right, you should accept that as his way of saying that his wife and himself are still together and living in harmony.

Pastor