My Friend P is watching the World Cup Cricket fever develop with interest. He says that it is going to get real crazy in Jamaica in the next couple of weeks and we will all be real glad in the end that the excitement did not start earlier.

The people who are working on the technical logistics of the event certainly have left us wondering if this whole thing is rocket science.

The city beautification is so far behind that it makes us wonder if the persons responsible for this area were off napping in Mars when Jamaica got its world cup pack.

Of course, we would have been having far less of a problem with beautification, transportation, and accommodation if the warm up matches were being played at Sabina Park and the tournament matches were being played in Trelawny at a larger stadium.

Underbelly downtown

But the city folk will have their day in the sun as usual so it will all be an incredible spectacle showcasing our grubby little nation's capital underbelly downtown city.

What the heck!, let's show off zinc fences, idlers ready to block a road at the drop of some spittle, a couple gun battles here and there for colour and atmosphere, and throw in some sewage running in the streets if we can find it. I am sure we can.

Anyway, all those things might hold some mystical touristic allure for the capital, who knows? TheSurvivor series is a hit worldwide. Tourists might take this as a great opportunity to test out their Steve Erwin skills.

But let's look at the transport plan. For some hours in the morning, the Mount Rosser road, St. Ann will be one way only for traffic going towards Sabina Park, Kingston. And during those same hours, the Bog Walk Gorge road, St. Catherine, will also be one way only going towards Sabina Park.

Now, I know that I must be missing something here because I have seen the flow of traffic on the Mandela Highway and at the end of the toll road in Portmore with normal single-lane flow of traffic from St. Catherine in the mornings. On a normal morning [which means with school open], those places are choked.

So my question is, when we spit off in rapid flow a couple hundred cars from St. Catherine into the city, what is it that we expect to happen?

'Chunnel'

I know! there is a pad out at the José Marti High School roundabout where cars will drive, there, someone will push a button and the car and its occupants will be beamed to Heroes Circle. and presto! off these fans will go, hassle free to Sabina Park on a neat shuttle bus.

No, no, no P says, not so. P says that those guys who built Highway 2000 have been secretly working on an underground road- "A Jamaican Chunnel"- and the entrance is near Flat Bridge in the gorge. Sections of this state-of-the art "Chunnel" goes under the river!

Drivers for cricket will slip into that secret road and it too exits in the centre of Heroes Circle and everyone will be good to go.

Of course, P and I both hope we are wrong-dead-wrong with our cynicism. We had better be. Or else Jamaica will have chosen the largest platform ever to royally screw up.

Email comments to: myfriendp@hotmail.com