Dear Pastor,

I've been married for three years to a man whom I know loves me very much. But, I'm not sure if I love him in the same way. Prior to our marriage, I was in a relationship with a married man. We no longer have a sexual relationship, but we still communicate by email, phone and other means from time to time.

My husband has told me numerous times that he no longer wants me to communicate with my past lover, and neither does the rest of his family because I was very close to my ex-lover's family, especially his wife.

Pastor, I know my relationship with this man was wrong in the first place but there is something that still has us bonded together. No matter how hard we try not to communicate with one another, it's like we must! I know I have to obey my husband regarding not communicating with this person anymore, but do I really have to throw away his entire family, as well?

A.N., Texas, U.S.A.

Dear A.N.,

One reason why you do not care to please your husband in this matter is because you do not love him as much as the married man. The truth is you shouldn't have got married if you did not love your husband. You are not even making an effort to strengthen the relationship with your husband. I am afraid that if you continue on the path you are going, it would not be long before your marriage breaks up.

The impression you are giving is that you would rather have this man in your life and associate with his relatives than please your husband.

Pastor