Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old female living in Jamaica. I have been dating a guy since the 10th grade of high school. On the 17th of January, 2003, he went away to live in England with his family. We still communicate with each other. I didn't love him at first but my love for him has grown over the years. I love him and he has told me that he loves me too.

My problem is that, I do not want to put my life on hold for anyone and then to find out in the end that it was not meant to be. I am not sure if he is coming back to Jamaica.

So many years have been wasted. It has been three years since I have known him. We have talked about the future but time will tell. Sometimes I want to call and tell him that we should just be friends, so that I can start thinking of him as a friend and not as a boyfriend. I know this is going to hurt but we can overcome this. I do not see where this relationship is going. So much could have been said and happen in the years that have passed.

We have never kissed nor have sex together. The little things have never been done alone, yet still I do not know how I fell for this guy. The love I have for this guy, no spell can break it.

Afraid to date

I am afraid to date other guys and do not give them the love they deserve because it hurts to love someone and not get that love in return.

I do not want to do anything and regret it in the long run. They say good things happen to those who wait. But if he is not the good thing that is going to happen what a waste of waiting! Please, pastor, tell me what to do and how to work this out. God bless you always. Thank you.

N. H., St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear N. H.,

Youth is in your favour. You do not have to get serious with any guy, including this one, for a while. You may think that time is running out on you but it is not.

On the other hand, if you believe that this guy is wasting your time, you should find out what plans he has for you and whether he is coming back to Jamaica.

Try and get a good education. Always remember that having a boyfriend does not necessarily mean that he will become your husband. People outgrow each other all the time. So allow time to roll by as you develop into a strong mature woman.

Pastor

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR. AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. FOR PERSONAL REPLIES PLEASE INCLUDE A STAMPED, SELF ADDRESSED ENVELOPE. TELEPHONE: 9291667/8