Dear pastor,

I have been dating a man for four years and when we got together he was married and living with his wife. I ignored the fact that he was married because I fell in love with him and felt like I had to have him in my life no matter what. Over the years, we have been on and off because I got fed up with him being with someone else and not me. Because of that my attitude took control over me and we would argue all the time over the situation. He said he wasn't happy with his wife and he would complain to me and I would try to advice him the best way I could.

Anyway, he is still married, but he and his wife are no longer together, but there is another problem. Now that he is not with his wife, he is with someone else. He claims that the reason why we are not together is because I wasn't paying him any attention when he and his wife separated and he wasn't used to be by himself. So he got himself involved with someone who was giving him attention. I still ended up going back because I really love him but now it's driving me insane to know that I am putting myself through this heartache and pain again and he's not making the effort to make it better for me. Don't get me wrong, he is a very polite and respectful person but I just can't deal with it anymore.

I am lonely and need to find someone who will be there for me no matter what and we can share our love sincerely together. I don't know what to do. Please help me.

..., New York, USA

Dear ...,

In the first place, you put yourself into this dilemma. You got involved with a man who does not speak the truth and he continues to make a fool of you and you are making a fool of yourself. You still believe that there is hope for this man and you to get married. Baby, it will never happen. The man is a user and he has no intention of settling down with you. I would love to be proven wrong.

Pastor