Dear Pastor,

I have been living in America for almost seven years and I have not been able to visit Jamaica since I left. It makes me very unhappy to be here but I have bills and obligations to attend to here.

The reason why I am writing you is for your advice on a personal issue. When I was living in Jamaica, I was dating a guy for about four years and I believed he was my first and only true love. But when I moved here from Jamaica, I went to live with my dad and his wife, as well as brothers and sisters. I had not known this side of my family that well because my mom's side of the family raised me. When I moved in with my dad's family I was treated terribly and I needed someone to be there for me, so I started to date someone else who is from Jamaica.

I then broke it off with the guy in Jamaica, but I have always had him in the back of my mind and I would tell a lot of people about him. Whenever anything went wrong in my present relationship, I would think what my ex-boyfriend would do. To make a long story short, it is now almost five years later, and I am still with the guy that I started to date here in America, but I have recently come in contact with the ex-boyfriend in Jamaica who has once again asked me to marry him. I love him but I don't know if I am in love with the person that I knew then. I know that the guy that I am with now and I can't get married because we don't see eye to eye. We can't get along. When we argue he stops talking to me for weeks and he spends more of his time with his friends. I love him but I am not in love with him. I know for sure that I am in love with the ex-boyfriend from Jamaica.

Do you think that I should leave the boyfriend here and give the one in Jamaica a chance or should I just let them both go? Thanks for taking the time out to help me.

God Bless you

A., Boston, USA

Dear A.,

I am suggesting that you end the relationship with the man in America. He does not treat you well and you do not genuinely love him. You know for sure that you will never marry him. Do not waste anymore of your time with him.

Seven years have gone by and perhaps the man who is living in Jamaica, has fathered children and is either living with a woman or has a steady girlfriend. Make sure that he tells you the truth. You know that he is not a eunuch. So, he either has a woman or had a number of them in his life during the past seven years. You have had your man, so everybody has to be honest with each other and speak the truth. But if he is not attached to any woman and the love that he has for you is still very strong and the love that you have for him is the same, perhaps both of you can have a future together.

Pastor