Dear Pastor,

I would like to congratulate you on the work you are doing. I am an 18-year-old guy and I am in a relationship with an eighteen year old young lady. I met her in the chat room sometime this year. We have never met face to face, but to be honest with you, I think I must be in love with this young lady. I think she is just like me because I am not a Jamaican. In the beginning, she would not share certain information with me. When I asked her about certain things, she would say that she does not want to talk about them. I am not an open person, but I find that I tell her a lot of things about myself and my family.

I was a player and I told her all about that life. I also told her that I wanted to give up that life because I found what I have been looking for. Recently, she started to open up a little and then she asked me for some money. I do not have a problem giving it to her, but I do not want this relationship to be based on money. She also has a nasty habit. If we are talking about something and she disagrees, she would hang up and turn off the phone.

I am confused and I do not know what to do. This is the first time I have felt this way about a woman. Please give me your fatherly advice.

O. K., St. Catherine Jamaica

Dear O.K.

This girl is intelligent. She knows that guys lie about themselves on the net. She is being very careful; smart girl. Why should she tell you a lot about herself when she has never met you and she probably doesn't know how to check you out. Perhaps you told her you were a player. How would she know that you have changed? She doesn't believe that you have changed. Have you changed because of a girl you have not met?

I repeat, she does not believe you. I'm proud of her. I wish more girls were as careful. Prove to her that you are not just trying to get another girl to add to your list. Develop a good friendship, but don't push her. Time will tell if you are honest and sincere.

Pastor