Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I was seeing a guy for five years and I am still not over him. I am in my early 20s. I am currently involved with another guy who treats me much better than my ex-boyfriend. In my early years, my relationship was purely sexual. We did not communicate much.

Last December, I told the guy who is now my ex-boyfriend I wanted to spend Christmas with him. On that day, I saw him with another girl, but he told me he was at work. In the evening, I saw him with a different girl. I kicked him. He told me that it was his brother's wife and she wanted to see before going back abroad. I didn't believe him, so I told him the relationship is over.

It was in January that I started to have a relationship with my current boyfriend. But whenever I see my ex-boyfriend, we talk to each other. We even had sex in January. Sometimes, I do want to have sex with him. My current boyfriend and I have sex sometimes but not as much as my ex-boyfriend and myself. I masturbate a lot and watch as many porn movies as I can because my current boyfriend is always working and I cannot see him as I would like.

Is it wrong?

Do you think it is wrong for me to do these things? Sometimes, I really want to call my boyfriend, but I resist the temptations. I really need your prayers.

A.H., St. Mary, Jamaica

Dear A. H.,

You are really not over your ex-boyfriend. You said the relationship was purely sexual and that indeed seems to be the case. He has other women. He is not a one woman man. You wanted him to be yours and yours only, but he is not ready for that. You know he was not faithful to you, but neither are you faithful to your present boyfriend.It seems to me that you have too much time on your hands. You need to go back to school and stop spending so much time looking at pornographic movies. These movies are affecting you. They turn you on and you yearn to have your ex-boyfriend with you or your current boyfriend. Studies have shown that pornographic movies cause people to do kinky things that they would not normally do.

From where do you get these movies? If you rent them, stop from doing so. If you borrow them from friends, don't borrow anymore. When you are tempted to look at these movies, read a good book. Do crossword puzzles. Occupy your time by doing positive things. Join a gym. Become a member of a social club. Stay away from the blues.

Pastor

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