Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old college student who has been baptised for the past six-and-a-half years. I am sexually active, but I still sing on the church choir and am also in the dance group. Is this right? I don't think it is.

I am in a relationship with this guy here in Jamaica who is 20 and teaches at a preparatory school. I won't say he is perfectly truthful but he tries to be most of the time. Most of the time he comes home to tell me everything that happens on the road, especially if he stopped to talk to a female. I don't know if he thinks that if someone sees him they will tell me things about him.

Abortion

In May 2005 I got pregnant for him. He was so happy, but I was worried. I explained to him that I couldn't bring the child because my relatives would throw me out of the house (I didn't live with my parents), especially the fact that my aunt in England is sending me to school. He cried in my arms and said that he wanted the child, but pastor, I couldn't keep the pregnancy. I feared my family reaction. I told him I wanted an abortion. He talked to his dad; his dad said he would take care of the child to a certain age, but that couldn't solve my problems. Anyway his dad gave us $10,000 to go to the doctor. When I was in the room at the doctor's office, my boyfriend was also there asking me to keep the child. I felt pity, but I couldn't. The pregnancy was three months old.

All in the family

This guy was in a relationship with a girl three months before we met. She lives in Connecticut, but guess what, my grandfather is her granduncle. There was a family fuss over the situation but he said he would not leave me no matter what. He still takes me out occasionally, and we go on church trips together. He says we are deeply in love already and sex is involved already so he is not leaving me.

We spend hours communicating with each other more than we have sex. He makes every effort to be with me. Everyday he leaves work, I see him. The only time he doesn't come and look for me is when he is in St Ann with his family. When he is here in Hanover I see him every second of every minute. He lives with his grandmother and grandfather, and they told him to reach home no later than 9:00 in the nights. He gets home by 11:00 . He gets upset when it reaches 9:00 o' clock and our conversation is not concluded.

Mistake

What I want to say to you is that he got his other girlfriend who is living in Connecticut pregnant. The pregnancy is three months old. He says it's a mistake. I told him our relationship is over. He told me no, he don't want me to leave him because he wants me to marry him. Because I am really upset he told the girl right on the phone in front of me to abort the child, but she refused.

What should I do? Should I forgive him and stay with him and fulfill our dreams? I was talking to him on the veranda and I just got upset and, locked my door, went to bed leaving him begging outside. I love him but I do stupid things when I am upset. D.F., Hanover, Jamaica

Dear D.F.,

You claim to be a Christian, but it is evident that you are not walking with the lord. You are actively involved in the church, but you are not a consecrated Christian.

You have one foot in the church and one out. Your boyfriend doesn't know the lord as his Redeemer.

He is pulling you down the drain. He has lied to you and will continue to do so because he knows that you love him. He has destroyed your spiritual life. Both of you are unequally yoked and you are going to have to make up your mind whether you want to serve God or allow this man to continue to make a fool of you.

Pastor

He has never left the girl in Connecticut. Now he has got her pregnant. That is not a mistake. He doesn't care. He will get you pregnant too again, if you are not careful. The choice is yours. You may choose to walk hand in hand with the devil or walk with Jesus your Saviour.

Pastor