Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I am having a problem. I have a boyfriend who is 50 years old. I love him very much but he cannot satisfy my sexual needs. I was in love with another guy before I met him but things were not serious between us so we broke up. Now it happens that we are working at the same place. We have got closer.

He and a friend came to my house and from that day things have changed for me. He came back to my house and we had sex and from that day we have been having sex. I still love him and because of that things have been changing between me and my boyfriend. My boyfriend wanted to have sex with me and I told him no because my feelings for him have changed. We finally had sex but I did not enjoy it because all I was doing was thinking about the other guy.

This guy has a lot of girlfriends and when I see him around them I get upset. I heard him telling his friend that one of his girlfriends was coming to look for him at his workplace. When I heard him say that I got every upset. My heart wanted to explode in pieces. I am trying not to be jealous but it is hard for me. Pastor, I am trying my best not to love this guy, but it is hard for me. Ever since we became lovers, I do not want to see him around any other woman. I love this guy so much that I even offered him a room on the house that I am building. But it does not seem that he cares about that, all he wants is his girlfriends and they cannot give him all the things that I can.

I want things to be like the way it was between my 50-year-old boyfriend and me. I love him very much and sometimes when I do not hear from him I get sad and I cannot eat. I love two persons but one has a million women. Pastor, please tells me what to do.

K.B., St. Ann, Jamaica

Dear K.B,

Although you have not said it I want to believe that you want the 50-year-old man to stick around because he brings to the relationship a measure of security. He might not be a champion in bed but he is a gentle man. On the other hand, you have got involved with a tiger who can satisfy you in bed but that is all he is good for (bed works). Is that all you want out of life?

I tell you what, if you continue to make yourself a fool, this tiger is going to use you, abuse you and finally leave you. You have made yourself easy to get. You have not set a high standard for yourself and frankly, it won't take very long for this 50-year-old man to sense that something is wrong. Do not be surprised if his visits become fewer. Experience men can detect if their women are cheating on them. It may take a while but this man will find out. So cut out the foolishness.

Pastor