What if a Wednesday came and I couldn't find anything to put in the box? I would write a column called what if, imagine and suppose. And I would ponder things like these: What if we didn't have outer ears? We would probably still be able to hear though the holes in the sides of our heads, but we wouldn't have anything to keep our glasses up, or keep our hats from covering our eyes. Just imagine it!

And suppose the municipality of Portmore declares war on Kingston and secedes from the rest of Jamaica? Maybe Mayor George Lee would become President of the Republic of Portmore and we would have to get a visa to travel from Portmore to Jamaica. What if the Ministry of National Security employed all area dons as consultants on community policing? I can't tell you what I imagine or suppose! What if the Ministry of Education sent some independent assessors to administer a surprise basic competence test on all school teachers in the subject they are employed to teach; and test them also in basic written and spoken English? I know a whole heap of them who would fail. You know any?

D'angel and L.A. Lewis?

Then suppose D'Angel was to break up with Beenie Man and fall in love with L. A. Lewis? Maybe he would finally have a tune that gets airplay. Imagine if every single person in Jamaica who smokes marijuana decided to light up a spliff or pipe at the same time and the Police decided to arrest all of them? First of all, maybe about a third of the police force would get arrested. Then for the other police that are left, it would take those at least six weeks to arrest all the violators if every single police officer did absolutely nothing all day except arrest ganja smokers. Then you imagine what would really happen if they decided to apply the law and arrest people for swearing too; and suppose they decided to arrest all "bad wud cussers" and ganja smokers same time? The country woulda lock down!

But seriously, what if somebody who you love deeply and who you have dedicated your life to, and for whom you have made many sacrifices, suddenly hurts you with the revelation that he or she is no longer in love with you? Part of you wants to lash out and puncture some car tyres and smash a windscreen or pull out some dreadlocks or do some other drastic or silly thing. But another part wants to get on quickly with your life because you know that "no tree nah grow inna yu face and nuh donkey nuh bite you" and soon that person will realise that leaving you is his/her loss and your gain and he/she will very quickly regret ever leaving you - but it will be too late.

You ever imagine what would happen if they found a cure for HIV/AIDS? I know that millions of lives would be saved, but I also think condom sales would drop dramatically and unsafe immoral lifestyles would increase rampantly. And what if men could get pregnant? Plenty women would wear jacket. What if all of you who read this decided to respond? I can just imagine some of the comments. And I suppose I would have to try and answer back!

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