Dear Pastor,
Some time ago I was at a cross roads in making a choice about two relationships. I ended up choosing the wrong man. Long after I chose him, I found out about his six baby mothers and his six children, one of whom wasn't even born yet when I met him. I only found out about the baby because he got into an accident while taking the baby and its mother to Portland. He told me nothing of this. The first time I saw some of his kids, he told me they were his sisters and brothers. I later found out they were his children and they were the same age. Two of them were 20 years old and this was a man of 37.
This man abused me physically and emotionally, sending me to the hospital on one occasion. I started becoming an ugly person on the inside. We are not together anymore and I don't miss him. My problem is I can't help but wish that something bad happens to him because of all the stress he put me through. Because of all the deceit, I don't think I can trust another man again. I have lost two years of my life that I cannot regain, while he is having a happy life with his new girlfriend who has a beautiful car and is really wealthy.
He also told me that he has also started sleeping with the mother of his last son again, even though he told me the pregnancy was a drunken mistake that happened while celebrating her birthday. He also said that if it weren't for the son, she would not be in his life because she is not his ideal person. I never believed him. I couldn't believe he didn't know how much he was hurting me. Every chance his last baby mother gets, she abuses me. I have nothing but pity for her. She has no idea about the other women in his life. I have lost many friends and many possibilities because of him and his lies. If only he had been truthful, I could have made the right choice. My life would have been a lot better than it is today.
I need to know how to get over my anger. I don't like being this angry.
Really hurting, St. Andrew, Jamaica
Dear Hurting,
I suggest that you make an appointment to see a psychologist. Tell him/her about your problems and go through with him/her sessions in anger management.
It is indeed unfortunate that this man has not treated you well. He lied to you and abused you. Remember, however, that you did not check him out well before you made your decision to enter into an intimate relationship with him. Not all men are cruel. Some treat women well. I repeat, please seek the help of a psychologist.
Pastor
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