Dear Counsellor:
I'm a regular reader of your column in THE STAR, and I find it very informative. I am 13 and my boyfriend is 21, we spend a lot of time together because we live close to each other. We kiss and hug a lot. Lately he starts pressing me to have sex with him. I am not ready for sex, but I am afraid he will leave if I don't have sex with him. What should I do?
- A.A.
Dear A.A.
You should have a serious talk with you boyfriend. Let him know that you are not ready to have sex and he should not pressure you. He should also know that you are under the age of consent.
Both of you must be aware of the responsibilities that accompany sexual activity such as taking care of a child should you become pregnant, and coping with sexually transmitted infections should you become infected.
Some STIs such as hepatitis and HIV/AIDS can kill you. The longer you remain a virgin, the longer you prevent these things from happening to you. If he continues to pressure you, then you must try to avoid situations in which you are alone with him.
Keep away from his house, as a matter of fact you should not be at his house when he is there alone, neither should you let him into your house when your parents are not there. Do not worry yourself about losing his friendship. If he is a true friend, he will respect your decision not to start having sex so early. It may become necessary for you to speak with your guidance counsellor. Your main focus now must be your school work.
PRACTISING NATURAL BIRTH CONTROL LEAD TO HIV?
Dear Counsellor:
My boyfriend religious beliefs do not allow him to use the condom. Therefore we have been practising natural birth control. I am a bit worried. Do you think I'm at risk for AIDS?
- Worried girl
Dear Worried Girl:
Since natural birth control is centred on the female's fertile period and not a barrier method, this form of birth control allows for an exchange of sexual fluid. Thus it will not prevent the transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.
Only abstinence totally protects you against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections including HIV the virus that causes AIDS. What about you using the female condom? Would your boyfriend object to you using it? Talk with your boyfriend about the female condom? It is also important to limit yourself to one faithful uninfected partner.
For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections call the AIDS/STD Helpline at 967-3830, 967-3764 or toll free at 1-888-991-4444 or write to AIDS Affair, c/o the Star, 7 North Street, Kingston.
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