DEAR PASTOR,
I always read your columns and I think you are doing a great job. I hope that you can offer me some advice. I am 19 years old and I am living with my parents who love me very much. I recently got a job and I am doing fine. My problem is that my mother wants me to find a nice, cute, perfect guy to be my boyfriend. The fact is I have a boyfriend. He is not perfect so she does not like him at all.
He is almost 30 years old and we have been seeing each other for almost two years. I am deeply in love with him. He treats me really nice. During the first five months of the relationship he cheated on me and I forgave him. He has given me two infections of which my mother knows about one. He also gave me herpes. I forgave him for all of that. Everytime I think things are fine with my mother accepting me and him , she just reminds me about the situation. She always tells me that he is nobody for me. She wants me to end the relationship. In the past he had a lot of girls. He even told me about something between my mother and him. The situation is really bothering me. For the past few weeks I have been thinking about it a lot. I don't know what to do.
Should I listen to my mother and end this relationship or stay with him and ignore her? Deep down in my heart I want to stay with my boyfriend, but my mother is making it really difficult for me because of his past. I really don't want to hurt him or even worst hurt myself. I trust in the Lord and I know He will show me the way. Everything works out for a good reason. I am really in need of some strong advice.
Help me, please, pastor, and may God help you to continue the good work.
J. M., St. Thomas, Jamaica
Dear J. M.,
Every wise mother who loves her daughter would like her to have a good husband. I am sure that your mother knows that no one is perfect. I join her in telling you that this man is not good. You shouldn't have him as your man. He is a player. He has given you herpes. He is surely not a careful man. Plainly speaking, he is not a good man, and the sooner you get rid of him, the better it will be for you.
I am putting it to you that you would live to regret that you did not listen to your mother if you marry this man. Perhaps he doesn't even have it in mind to marry you, anyway.
Pastor
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