JACKASS SEY DI worl' no level. Jackass sey some ooman a deman some protekshan from man whe gone pas' de limits a protekshan.
It is a strange thing, how women are all strong and all independent when they want to be - like when they are out for a night on the town with their friends, leaving faithful boyfriend at home as they prowl for monied game - yet very clingy and helpless when they are faced with a crisis like changing a tyre.
And it is strange how often they demand their space and declare that they can manage on their own, yet when push comes to shove, comes to slap, they turn to the one they had so much wanted to be free of.
Sure, it is natural for a woman to turn to the one she is with when she is assaulted physically, yet women must be realistic. If she is with her boyfriend at a club and she steps on the toe of the dads from 'down so', who proceeds to wet her up with a crate of beer - opened or unopened - it is quite unreasonable for her to turn to dearly beloved, whose only qualification for badness is listening to Bounty Killer and Vybz Kartel, to defend her honour.
What she should do is apologise very quickly - before or after the wetting - offer to buy a drink for each member of the crew, propose an introduction of said members to her hottie friends and, if there is a wetting, take off her shirt, smile and carry it off like one of those stiff whatever contests.
It is not only unreasonable, but it is also cruel, for her to expect her boyfriend to step up to the Dads and his entourage and demand an apology "or else all hell is gonna break loose up in here."
You see, it is a matter of weight. It is much easier for him to soothe her wounded pride than for her to lift up his comatose, near lifeless body and attempt to seek medical attention. It all comes down to weight.
And carrots, come to think of it. If she had eaten her carrots when she was younger she would have had better eyesight and thus would have seen the Dads Clarks and avoided stepping on them in the first place. It is so unreasonable to ask a man to put life and limb on the line just because some spoiled brat closed her mouth and refused to eat her vegetables.
But the world is not level at all, because there are some doltish men who insist on protecting women at all costs. You know, the kind of man who insists on walking on the outside of a woman, towards the traffic, even if it means that he ends up walking on the white line (and here comes a white bus. Remember what I said about weight?). These 'overprotectors', these Sponge Bob bodies with Terminator minds, these leather-belt wearers who are 'Brucie' Lee, Jet Lee and Jackie Chan rolled into one, make it bad for us practical men (and Jackasses). You see, they operate under the commercial code (the customer is always right) and leap to the defence of a woman who constantly gets into arguments with hefty strangers then says "Peter won't like what you said."
So, when a sensible man who knows it is easier for a man to carry a woman than for a woman to carry a man comes along, it looks odd.
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey when hero proteck up woman whe do foolihish, after im lose de war, de ooman jus' move on to a nex' fool (but not a Jackass).
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