Dear Pastor,
I am a 20-year-old college student dating a 28-year-old man with four kids. At first he told me he lives alone and the kids live with their mothers. Everything was good, but things just did not add up. After 12:00 a.m. at nights, I can't get him on the phone. When I asked him about it. He would say he didn't put the phone on the charger, so the battery died. I did not believe one word he said, but I left it alone. At one point, his cell phone was turned off.
He called me from a private number and when I asked whose number it was, he said his house phone. I asked him how is was that I never got the house number and he said because he is not there as much to answer, and every time he calls me from home, the kids are there. I asked him what kind of relationship he and his children's mother have and he said they only talk because of the kids. One day, I got a private call on my phone. When I answered, the person hung up. I called his cellphone and he didn't answer. I took it for nothing.
Everything was good. He made me meet his kids and everything so now I really believe that he lived alone. Even though we have been together for one year, he never took me to his house or even to meet his parents. Whenever I asked him about it, he would say someday and he didn't have the time right now.
I really believe that he lives with his children's mother, but whenever I ask him, he says no and that I should stop asking silly questions.
Should I keep on letting him drag me along or should I just let go?
N. R., Philadelphia, U.S.A.
Dear N. R.,
For sure he is living with somebody else apart from his children. It could be another woman and not necessarily his children's mother. Can't you do a little detective work? Can't you check out the address or get someone to do it for you? Don't you know where he lives? That should not be difficult to find out, baby. He has a driver's licence. He has other identifications.
Do you know where he works? Do you have his social security number? He files taxes. Come on, sister, wake up. Don't make this thing called love blind your eyes. Be practical. He is lying and you ought not to allow him to continue to make a fool out of you.
Pastor
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