Commentary

To say or not to say?

SOMETIME AGO, I was on the plazas doing some window shopping. It's a habit that I have long enjoyed because it helps me relax knowing that I am not compelled to buy anything.

On this particular day, as I was about to embark on this particular campaign, my eyes locked on to an elderly man about 40 metres away walking towards me and who was staring directly at me. I frantically searched my memory banks trying to put a name to his face but failed badly.

The tension in me mounted as each step brought us closer and closer. When he was within a metre or so, his gazed still locked on to me like a missile guidance system, I raised my hand to wave and simultaneously said hello. By this time, the man who was almost past me when he stopped, turned around and with a question in his eye said "Do you know me?"

Embarrassed I said "No, I don't think so." He replied "Then why did you say hello?" I was speechless. Here I was thinking I was doing the courteous thing by offering a greeting and this old man just upped and burst my bubble.

The thing about this is that this happens to me pretty often. I notice people staring at me or looking in my general direction and I just say hello. However, this was the first and only time that someone had stopped to ask me why.

I went my way feeling almost sick inside for doing something that I grew up thinking was the right thing to do. Someone must have forgotten to tell me that being courteous to people you don't know is a no-no.

It's like the time when this girl was staring at me in a store as I was in trying to buy a pair of sweats. Only because she was staring so intently I said hello and she looked at me like I had the black plague and her upper lip began to curl into a snarl. The thing is, based on her reaction she obviously thought I was trying to pick her up. It's a pity she hadn't bothered to look into the mirror that morning, or ever for that matter.

The most important thing that she needed to know at the time and what I was thinking as she was snarling at me, was that I don't talk to women with corn plantations on their feet. If she walks near anything like a fire, she'd have a year's supply of popcorn.

But that's beside the point. What offended me was that she took offence to what I believe is a common courtesy. Hello means just hello. It doesn't mean "Hello, can I take you home tonight?"

Generally speaking, there are just some women who think a bit too much of themselves; who believe that the minute a man greets them he is trying to score some action, and that is not necessarily the case, especially where I'm concerned.

In the case of men these days, I believe many are of the impression that being civil means being soft or weak and that could not be further from the truth. If they only realised how much courage it takes to say hello to someone who in today's society might bite your head off in response.

There are those people, of course, who will return the greeting or respond with a nod of the head and go their way sometimes I believe, wondering who the hell that was. Those people I think are among the decreasing numbers of the civilised ­ returning courtesy where courtesy is shown.