Tell Me Pastor

Matters of the heart

Dear Pastor,

I am in a quandary, and I need your guidance in resolving some problems that I simply term 'complications of the heart'.

While in graduate school, I became intimate with a young lady who was a Christian. I grew to love her a whole lot. She was my world; she made me happy and I depended on her for moral support. I gave her all my love and showed her kindness unreservedly.

I was not prepared to devote my life to the Lord, and she broke up with me because she could not deal with the emotional pressure associated with our relationship. I was very perturbed about the break up, and I thought that the best way to get over her and her memories would be to forge a relationship with someone else. This I did a short while after.

Unfulfilled

I am currently in a relationship, but I don't feel fulfilled because I am still in love with my ex-girlfriend. She and I still communicate and I want to be with her. I have indicated my desire to have her back in my life. However, she is not prepared to get involved in a relationship, although I see potential in her doing so.

I need you to help me to sieve through all the variables and make the correct decision. What is happening is not fair to my current girlfriend. Should I continue in my present relationship and stop speaking to my ex-girlfriend? Should I severe ties with my current girlfriend and pursue my ex-girlfriend?

Your advice will be well received.

T. M.,

St. Andrew

Dear T.N.,

I suggest that you continue with your present girlfriend. Your former girlfriend is not interested in having an intimate relationship with you. So you are barking up the wrong tree. It is not every woman that a man sees and loves that he can get, and the same is true of the woman. So, brother, try your best to make a go at your present relationship and wish your former girlfriend well.

Pastor