Dear Pastor,
I have a little problem with my girlfriend. She wants me to give her oral sex. However, I grew up hearing that it is wrong to engage in that.
I am a Jamaican and she is American. We have been together for over four years now and we are engaged to be married. I don't know what to do. I have never done it and I told her that I will never give her oral sex. I love her though, and I don't want her to leave me. Please advise.
K.S., Bronx, New York
Dear K.S.,
I know couples who broke up because of oral sex. In one case, the man insisted that he wanted his wife to engage in the act, but she refused. In the other case, it was the wife who wanted it, but the man refused. Both couples are now divorced.
This woman and you are planning to get married and already you all are fussing over oral sex. If you say that you are not going to 'bow', she could decide whether or not she will marry you.
You want my advice whether you should engage in oral sex. Well, sir, as a counsellor, it is not my business.
It is strictly between the both of you. I only hope that both of you will exercise commonsense and learn to respect each other's position.
Pastor