Tell Me Pastor

Sexteen Secrets

Dear Pastor,

I am always reading the stories you publish and I think you are doing a good job. I have a problem of my own.

I am 16 years old and I am in the tenth grade. I live in Miami, and I travel to Jamaica all the time because the majority of my family lives there. I was recently there for Christmas and I met a guy who is 18 years old. He seems like a really nice guy.

Since I left Jamaica, we have talked on the phone every day. He even called me on my birthday which was really nice.

I really have feelings for him. However, my mother does not approve of me dating at a young age.

Serious talk

She doesn't even know about this boy I am talking to. She is always telling me about some of the guys down there in Jamaica, but it is hard not to want to be with him.

To be honest, I have dated other boys in the past. Every time I talk to this boy, I have to do it secretly. Some of my cousins that live in Jamaica know him really well.

Additionally, he wants to take our relationship seriously and I am just not sure what I should do. Can you give me some advice?

S. M., Hallandale, Florida

Dear S. M.,

You are causing unnecessary stress on yourself with this boy.

You are 16 and in high school and you shouldn't be going steady with any man. A long distance relationship is not easy to deal with, so to be very frank with you I have to tell you that I can't encourage you in what you are doing. Girls your age should have a number of friends, but none should be considered an intimate friend.

Tell this young man that both of you can be friends, but you are not ready for a serious relationship. Don't try to fool your mother. Let her guide you. She means well and she wants the best for you.

Pastor