Tell Me Pastor

Mommy doesn't like him

Dear Pastor,

I am so confused. I was in Jamaica for about four years and then I moved back home to the United States. I have been involved in several relationships, but nothing permanent. I am presently in a relationship with this guy and he has been locked up a couple of times before I started to talk him.

We have been talking for seven months and during these seven months, he got arrested once. He is now out of prison and our relationship is doing just fine, except that my mother doesn't like him anymore because he was incarcerated. So, she gave me an ultimatum; it is either my boyfriend or her.

I love them both and I don't want to loose either one. I am eighteen years old and I feel that she is trying to tell me who to be with, which is wrong, but that is my mother.

What do you think I should do? We plan to get married and to go into church and start our family. Another thing is that we have not had sex for the seven months that we have been together. We are waiting to get married first. I trust him so much and I never trusted anyone before. He is a Christian and so am I.

I pray that you will be able to give me some advice very soon. Keep up the good work. You have changed so many people's lives in ways you just don't even know. God bless you and your family.

B.M., Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Dear B.M.,

I think your mother is just trying to help you and you should learn to appreciate that. She wants the best for you and she considers that this young guy is not the type of man she expects you to go with. Why is he getting into so much trouble and is in and out of prison so often? Any woman who loves her daughter would be concerned about that. That does not mean that she wants to control your life. What it means is that she doesn't want you to make a mistake.

You are eighteen years old; you do not have to be in a hurry to get married or be in a steady relationship at this time. You need a good education.

Stay in your mother's house as long as possible. Don't believe that it is easy for a girl your age to cope without a good education and the help of loving parents. Many girls make the mistake by leaving home early and suffer the consequences. Aim to become a career woman. Don't get married too early.

Pastor