Tell Me Pastor

A house for Mr Biswas

DEAR PASTOR,

I have a problem with my boyfriend. I am 23. I have two kids and neither of them belongs to him. I am in love with this man for over a year. He is married and he is living with his wife and he has not fathered any children as yet.

I know that he loves me because he gives me everything that I ask for on time. He even built a house for me and my two kids. His wife does not know anything about us. He even said that he needs me to have a baby for him one day. He said that every time he gets his wife pregnant, she loses the baby. He even said that she does not see her period and that the doctor told her that her passage is too small. He also said that he feels more comfortable when he comes to my house and that he enjoys having sex with me.

I don't know what to do. Please give me your advice.

L.N., Clarendon

Dear L.N.,

I am afraid I cannot encourage you to have a child with this married man. Neither can I endorse this relationship. I know that this man has helped you immensely and the temptation is for you to continue with him. Always remember that he is a married man and that he is living with his wife. If you get a child with this man, you are tying up yourself even further and that would be very unwise.

He told you lots of things about his wife and her inability to have children. He hasn't said anything about leaving his wife. I am not suggesting that he should. I am just trying to open your eyes. If he feels so much more comfortable with you, how is it that he is still with her? Our Jamaican folk often say, 'Mout mek fi talk'. He is telling you the things you want to hear and these may not necessarily be true.

Remember you already have two children. Tell this man you are not interested in any more children. If you are not working, try and get yourself a job and pull yourself away from this man.

Pastor