Tell Me Pastor

Hand to mouth

DEAR PASTOR,

I am having a problem. When I was about three years-old and my brother was a year old, my father's hand was chopped off by my mother's sweetheart. We were too young to remember the exact event, but since then our lives have changed dramatically.

My father left Jamaica shortly after the incident and went to live in Canada, and we have not seen him since. My mother took us to Manchester, where she gave me up for adoption. I was placed with a very nice family and I was very happy. I had it all, until my mother came back for me.

Very rough life

We lived in Manchester for a while, and then we moved back to St. Catherine and everything went wrong. As we were poor, life was not easy for us. I don't know what changed my mother, but she was not the same person she used to be. We hardly went to school, so I cannot read or write properly.

Our life got very rough so she took us to stay with our aunt who ill-treated us. My brother and I were very unhappy. When my mother took food and clothes for us, we never received anything. We had to hunt for food like animals. We survived by eating almonds, wild cucumbers and breadfruits in the community. We slept outdoors in a cave. Our mother heard about what was happening and she came back for us.

She took us back, and we believed that things would have got better. Instead she started abusing us. She worked us very hard. We had to burn charcoal instead of going to school. It was like this for years. I got frustrated and angry, and I felt like no one cared. It was at that time I felt the need for a father. I asked my mother about him and she told me that he had died and was buried at Dovecot.

Chop chop

My brother and I decided to visit his grave, but I could not find it. I went and asked one of the work-men for information. Fortunately for us, one of the men knew our parents and told us that our father was not dead, but is living in a foreign country. We confronted our mother and she admitted that she chopped his hand off, but we knew she was lying.

The truth is, her sweetheart chopped my father's hand off and spent five years in prison. When he was released, he came to the house asking for her. Pastor, we miss the father we know nothing about. I only heard that my brother and I look very much like him. His name is Clive Claude Hickling.

Dear C.H.,

I am touched by your letter. You have had a very rough upbringing. I send an S.O.S for your father, Clive Claude Hickling. Wherever, you are please respond.

Pastor

You have alleged that your mother's boyfriend chopped off your father's hand and that that man was sentenced to prison. According to the information you received, your father went to live abroad. You don't know much about him, but you know that his name is Clive Claude Hickling, and you would like to get in touch with him.

Unfortunately, you have been moving from one relationship to the other. I hope that God will help you to settle down. I wish not to say anything bad about your mother. She seems to be confused too. I wish to encourage you to put your confidence in God and to try your best not to have any more children. The more children you have, is the more burdensome life will become.

I send an S.O.S for your father, Clive Claude Hickling. Wherever, you are please respond.

Pastor

My mother turned me out of the house at age 14. I went to my grandfather's house seeking assistance. He lives alone in a large house in the community and he turned his back on me. He said he never liked my mother. To make matters worse, her man chopped off his son's hand. I had nowhere else to go and no one to turn to. I was young and vulnerable.

I got involved with a young man and ended up pregnant. My mother told me to terminate it. My baby father had a job and he could support the child. During the pregnancy, my mother treated me badly. She locked me out of the house and beat me with boards and machetes. I had my son, and he is now four years old.

I got a job doing domestic work, but lost it because my mother kept calling the house and asking for money. She was taking care of the baby at the time. I was only getting one thousand dollars per week. When I went back home, I found out that my mother had sold all the things that my baby father took for him. I was there until the money I had ran out. She ran me out of the house again.

I went to live with my child's father and got pregnant again. His mother said that the baby was not for her son and this added more stress to my life. I had another son and soon after, my baby father and I began quarrelling and fighting. I got ill with chicken pox and he scorned me so I moved out and went back to my mother's house. She treated me kindly, but soon after she returned to her old self.

I moved out of the house again and began talking to a young man who promised he would help me and the children. We lived together for a while until I found out that he was cheating on me. I spoke to him about it, but he abused me so badly I had to leave him. I went to live on the street because I had no where else to turn.

I met another man, who took me off the street, but how can I learn to trust another man when other men have treated me so badly. I need to go back to school, but I don't know how to start because I am not working. I am 21 years old and looking for help. Anyone knowing my father, could you please help me to find him?

C.H., St. Catherine

Dear C.H.,

I am touched by your letter. You have had a very rough upbringing. You have alleged that your mother's boyfriend chopped off your father's hand and that that man was sentenced to prison. According to the information you received, your father went to live abroad. You don't know much about him, but you know that his name is Clive Claude Hickling, and you would like to get in touch with him.

Unfortunately, you have been moving from one relationship to the other. I hope that God will help you to settle down. I wish not to say anything bad about your mother. She seems to be confused too. I wish to encourage you to put your confidence in God and to try your best not to have any more children. The more children you have, is the more burdensome life will become.

I send an S.O.S for your father, Clive Claude Hickling. Wherever, you are please respond.

Pastor