Commentary

Thoughts of Asafa and Dennis

By KAVELLE ANGLIN-CHRISTIE, Staff Reporter

"Total absence of humour renders life impossible."

Colette (1873 - 1954), Chance Acquaintances, 1952

I SAT AND wondered what the best topic would be for today's column, and couldn't come up with one. R. and I skimmed through a few: unnecessary frustrations that come our way? Asafa's world record? Technology? I can't find a politically correct way to address the first, so on to the other two.

The day after Asafa's record-breaking win, R. and I discussed it. People, the conversation isn't what you expect. Here's a hint: R. and I like comics like 'The Far Side' and 'Bizarro'.

R. said though Asafa clocked 9.77 - shaving off a hundredth of a second off the former world record - R. had been kept awake thinking about this thing called 'a hundredth of a second'.

"Can you imagine the amount of effort he took trying to shave off that hundredth of a second? Can you imagine the training that went into it?" asked R.

"Aaahm, no." To tell you the truth, before R. mentioned it, I had never given it any real thought. Well, that, and I'm not a sports fan.

"Well thank God they weren't using a stop watch. Can you imagine trying to stop it at a hundredth of a second? No, really? The man would never had made the record," said R.

We laughed for a few.

We moved on to how grateful we were that technology had made such great strides in a few years.

"Oh Lord, I can't wait for them to finish the highway. I mean, the trip to Mobay took forever," said R.

"Can you imagine when the roads were worse, and the whole-heap of rickety buses didn't help?"

Frankly we couldn't imagine it. What could be worse than narrow roads with sudden pot holes that can only be described as catchment areas when it rains, and only lengthen one's journey? We paused.

"Trust me, it serious man. Back then, the trip must have been so long, especially if you all ah go Mobay or Negril; my word," said R.

"Oh God, I'd die."

"Back then, them probably have in-transit bus yaaw man. Like you travel half way today, sleep part way, then wake up to get the next bus. Crazy. Whatever you going to do, don't make sense again, you just have to catch the next trip back to town," said R.

Though our imaginations got the best of us, I thought back to Hurricane Ivan, and where I would be without some of my best friends: the microwave, running water, my washing machine, curling iron, blow dryer - my list of modern gods is endless.

I remember Hurricane Ivan's aftermath: yes people, the no light, no water phase. It was my worst nightmare. I thought of the best way to stretch a bottle of water: 'Okay, so I can wash my hair, allow the water to drain unto my body so I can bathe, catch it back, and flush the toilet.' Yes, raise your eyebrows, but it was nothing short of an epiphany.

For days, the madness continued. Even after some people said their water and power was back, those of us in Portmore and other areas, simply longed for our moment to come.

Imagine my nervous energy when I heard Hurricane Dennis was on his way. I could think of at least three hundred dangerous stunts I would dare perform than to take another bath out of a bottle. Thank heaven for all things modern.

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