Tell Me Pastor

I cheated; I want another chance

DEAR PASTOR,

I am a 26-year-old girl living in America. I came to this country 11 years ago and have experienced some difficult relationships.

The last person I fell in love with was a 28-year-old man from Haiti. He was like a dream come true. When I first met him he told me he had a girlfriend back home. He said that one day she might come to America, but not very soon.

We started a relationship that seemed so promising and in the process we had a son. This was his first and only child at the time. Things were going well until this girl came to the United States. The fighting started. He got her pregnant while I was pregnant. He married her. He claimed that he did it just so she could get her green card. He bought a house for her. While this was going on, he was living with me. I decided enough was enough.

I started to date a doctor who worked at the same place with me. He found out about it. He left me, but not without a fight. There is so much more to this story. I can't even begin to put it into words. The point is I was there for this man through thick and thin. The way he treated me and just because I cheated, he left me. It is not fair. I want another chance.

S. W., Connecticut

Dear S.W.,

Believe me, it is better for this man to go. He used you, but even now you haven't come to realise how much he did abuse you. Oh, I know you were very much in love with him, so you allowed him to have his way with you. But if you were to reflect upon the whole affair, you would see that you made a fundamental mistake by living with him and allowing him to get you pregnant.

You see, my dear, when you met him, he told you about his girlfriend who was living in Haiti and that she planned to come to America. What he was simple saying to you was that she is his future wife, but you did not get the clue. In his mind all along, she was number one. You were hoping that you would have been able to win him over totally to you. I am sorry, but that was a mistake you made.

My darling, you are still naïve. That man stayed right with you and set up his number one woman. You couldn't take it, so you tried to hit back by getting involved with another man but the whole thing backfired.

Wish him well. See to it however, that he supports his child. Don't fight over this man. He is very cruel. You will never be totally happy with him.

I hope the doctor will marry you, or am I to understand that you were just having a fling with the doctor?

Pastor